


nonsense

by irrationalqueer



Series: advent 2020 [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Mild intoxication, really bad pick up line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrationalqueer/pseuds/irrationalqueer
Summary: “Phil, I’m like nachos,” he says, completely nonsensically. Phil blinks, staring up at him. It’s either because they’re both tipsy or because he’d been so close to coming when Dan stopped moving, but he has no idea what’s going on.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: advent 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035507
Comments: 29
Kudos: 69





	nonsense

“Phil,” Dan says, giggling a little bit where he’s on top of Phil. 

“Mmf,” Phil says, abruptly yanked out of the pleasant haze he’d fallen into where everything was nice and warm and Dan all over him. Dan hasn’t moved, so Phil’s still buried inside him, sweating and straining and kind of frustrated at the sudden stillness. 

“Phil, I’m like nachos,” he says, completely nonsensically. Phil blinks, staring up at him. It’s either because they’re both tipsy or because he’d been so close to coming when Dan stopped moving, but he has no idea what’s going on.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Phil says, shaking his head and squeezing at Dan’s hips, thrusting up a little to try and get him moving again. 

Dan jolts a little bit, but mostly just stays still, shaking his head. “You know. Nachos. Need to be topped,” he says, snorting out another laugh, “and loaded,” he says, rolling his hips. Phil just blinks at him again. He can feel his eyebrows moving but he’s not really sure what exactly he must look like right now - he really just feels confused.

“You -” he begins, but Dan chooses that moment to start riding him in earnest, and Phil’s suddenly at a loss for words entirely.

“Does it count if you’re not actually doing any of the work though?” he muses, laughing when Phil’s mouth drops open in indignation.

Phil narrows his eyes and plants his feet, thrusting up hard just to be obnoxious, and Dan’s laugh turns into a long moan, eyes rolling back into his head. Unfortunately, he also clenches down and Phil is coming almost immediately, the shock of the last few minutes apparently distracting him enough that he’s been closer to the edge than he realized. 

It doesn’t matter; as soon as he’s blinked the black spots from his eyes he’s pulling out and rolling them over, biting harshly at Dan’s neck. Dan slaps at his side, grumbling faintly, but Phil just bites his way down lower anyway. 

“Scratch,” Dan mumbles, already stroking himself; Phil rolls his eyes and lets more of his stubbly chin rub against the sensitive skin of Dan’s thighs as he sucks bites there, pushing two fingers inside and trying to angle them in the way he knows Dan loves. Dan’s breathing harder already, the slight pain intensifying everything for him.

He pushes Dan’s hand away so he can get his mouth around him, sinking as deep as he can without choking and fitting his hand tightly around what he can’t fit in his mouth; he tries to coordinate sucking with the way he’s thrusting his fingers but he can’t quite manage it. It doesn’t seem to matter, though - Dan’s practically sobbing up on the other side of the bed, one hand in his own hair and his thighs clenching as he tries to keep himself from thrusting up. It’s only a few moments before Dan’s coming, pulsing on Phil’s tongue and clenching around his fingers, and it’s so hot Phil kind of wishes he could float up out of his body and watch.

He can’t though, so instead he pulls his fingers out gently and swallows his mouthful and flops face down next to Dan on the pillow, throwing a leg over one of Dan’s. Dan’s still got a hand in his hair, but the other one he wiggles over in Phil’s direction, reaching out to hold some part of him and settling on Phil’s elbow. 

“Nachos?” Phil mumbles, incredulous, trying to raise an eyebrow in Dan’s direction.

Dan just shrugs, unapologetic. “I dunno, it fit,” he says, “Maybe you fucked me stupid,” he says, rolling his head toward Phil and closing his eyes. 

“You’re already stupid,” Phil says. Dan rolls a little bit so he’s on his side facing Phil, tossing an arm around his waist and pinching him. Phil squirms a little but Dan’s warm and he’s rapidly cooling down so he doesn’t wiggle too far away.

“You,” Dan says, pressing a barely-there kiss to his shoulder and then his breathing evens out and he’s just - completely asleep. Phil snorts and closes his eyes, following him into unconsciousness, thinking vaguely about bad pickup lines and banning Dan from tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> listen idk either
> 
> ty amy for the prompt <3 i've never wanted to scream while writing something more
> 
> happy advent day one!


End file.
